Crush

Distractions

Stopping the wanting

Looking further ahead

To try keeping it inside

At the end, it was best decision

Battled field of fighting your own emotions

The mindless illogical time-wasting feelings

You know if you’d fall into the hole again

Mistake will be re-experienced

Indecisiveness, your unrequited love to one, awkwardness, heartbreaking, déjà vu, unpromising love, irritation and hating, loving and sickening intimacy, people’s expectations

Ask yourself “what do you want?”

Well, a fixed state of mind

That is thoughtless of love

Or putting on an act as a carefree manly woman

Which I cannot

Insecure, unassertive, and hating self as ever

My nature takes the best of me

Still I am who I am and that I will always be

That confident future me

I will try to build myself to be

At last, to the crush,

Soon I'll get better and forget you...

Thanks for the lesson~

Last note from me: It's natural... You're affected by the nature of emotions and the longing of intimate attachment to someone, but it will eventually go away (Maybe it will always stay if you believe in true love). Being fooled by the experience once, twice or more, you'll eventually learn. Having learned it but still keep repeating the mistake is both illogical and logical emotional shit, and it took so much to try to do the right thing. Aren't these feelings what makes you human? Isn't this just life that at the end, love always stays at the center of everything you do or at least it should.